In the center of the caverns of hell, hidden under layers of evil that have thrived for centuries, sits the morbid domain of the prince of the power of the air. Suddenly, a scaly creature disrupts Satan’s ghastly existence with an urgent message. It reads, “Code red problem, conference needed, disaster forecasted!” With a disgusted annoyance this general of evil agrees to confer with his chief demon lieutenant. This is the story of that encounter
Satan: You may enter.
Demon: My Lord Satan.
Satan: State your business and make it fast.
Demon: Sir, we’re having problems of cataclysmic proportions.
Satan: Where?
Demon: In the east sector, sir. The damage is vast.
Satan: Is there something wrong with my abortion clinics?
Demon: No, sir, that’s all fine. We kill 4,000 unborn a day through, shall we say, surgical removal. It’s selective breeding. We eliminate human life in the name of convenience like the Nazis and the Jews and with the government’s approval.
Satan: Is there a problem with my pet project, television violence?
Demon: Sir, it’s covered, from videos to cartoons. By the time a child graduates high school, he’s seen 70,000 murders.
Satan: Is this effective enough?
Demon: Sir, just watch the news.
Satan: Is there a disturbance in my false religions?
Demon: No sir, business is booming. Over 40 million are into New Age and Zen. Over 45 million believe in astrology.
Satan: Looks like we’re catching up.
Demon: Yes, sir. Only 50 million claim to be born again.
Satan: Is there a problem with business in general?
Demon: Sir, we’re showing tremendous progress. Teenage runaways, each year a million or more. There’s a teen suicide every ninety minutes and your specialty, drunk driving, will claim more lives this year that the whole Vietnam war.
Satan: Well is there a disturbance in my… What was that?
Demon: Sir, that’s the reason all these demons are on crutches and wobbling.
Satan: What’s going on?
Demon: Sir, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.
Satan: What is that?
Demon: Sir, that is our problem.
Satan: Only one thing causes warfare of this magnitude.
Demon: Then, sir, you know what we are dealing with up there.
Satan: Yes, it’s some of those sanctified
Demon: Try blood bought
Satan: Spirit filled
Demon: Saints of God
Satan: Actually
Demon: Presently
Satan & Demon: On their knees in prayer!
Demon: Sir, they’re literal holy terrors. They bind us, cast us out. Then they do those disgusting charismatic jigs. They quote scriptures like the Son of God and, sir, if you don’t intervene we all might wind up in a bunch of pigs.
Demon: Sir, that’s the good news. The bad news is the subject of their prayers that threatens our survival. What they’re praying for is causing hemorrhaging in the realms of darkness.
Satan: And the bad news is?
Demon: Sir, they’re praying for revival!
Satan: I hate revival! It just erupts, it’s hardly controllable. At the Azusa street outpouring things got rough.
Demon: Yes sir, and when the charismatic movement hit, sir, we were jumping out of windows with all that “untie my bowtie who stolla my honda” stuff.
Satan: Then I’ll come in like a flood.
Demon: But they’ll say the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against you.
Satan: OOOOHH
Demon: It’s written in the Word.
Satan: I’ll form weapons against them.
Demon: Sir, no weapon formed against them shall prosper. That’s in the Bible, too.
Satan: Yes, I’ve heard. I’ll hit them with every filthy, lusty thought you could imagine.
Demon: But it’s written, “resist the devil and he must flee.”
Satan: Obviously, the enemy is taking the battle more seriously than we are.
Demon: And that’s very dangerous, sir, especially for me.
Satan: It’s time to launch my final, most vicious attack. I’ll remind the saints of their past- how they were liars, cheaters, manipulators and moochers.
Demon: But sir, you know what will happen if you remind the saints of their past.
Satan: And what is that?
Demon: Sir, they’ll just remind you of your future.
Satan: NOOOOOOO
Attention all Saints of God, man your battle stations!
Sound the alarm loud and long to all men of every nation!
We’re kicking down the gates of hell, not stopping till they’re level.
For the sentence of destruction’s on the forehead of the devil.
Lift your hands in victory, this is our finest hour!
For this sleeping giant called the church is rising up in power!
Cry loud, spare not, this lion’s got a roar!
We may have lost some battles, but we will win this war!
We’ve made it through the fire and our faith in God is strong!
We’re a revelation generation with fire in our bones!
We’re filled up with the Holy Ghost, trusting in the Bible!
Fasten your seat belts, saints of God, the world is breaking forth in a Revival!
Revival is coming to our land
The Holy Ghost is moving just like a hurricane
Revival is coming to our shore
Get ready for the moving of the Spirit of the Lord
Last Chorus:
It’s what we’ve been waiting for
It’s what we’ve been praying for
From America to England
From Africa to Spain
From Mexico to China
The Spirit of God is being poured out
On all flesh and there is
Revival in the land!
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