Carman: “Yo Kidz! It’s Carman here. How ya doin’? Let me tell you about my friend, Lawrence. Yeah, he’s that cat on the cover. I call him “L” for short. First time we met downtown one night, L and another cat named Spitz were cleaning out my car. You know, stealing, ganging, robbing. Well, good thing I came along when I did.
Spitz: “Hey, check out this ride, L.”
Lawrence: “I don’t know about this, Spitz.”
Spitz: “Hey, hey, chill it’s cool.”
Lawrence: “Hey, we can get busted!”
Spitz: “Listen L, if you want to hang with the gang, you better get used to this real quick.”
Lawrence: “I don’t know, man”
Spitz: “There, see. No car alarm, no nothing. I’ll yank out the steering wheel. You check out the glove compartment.”
Lawrence: “Yeah, okay. Let’s see some maps here, some tapes. Hey look, sounds like this book could be worth something.”
Spitz: “Bag the book, L. Look for greenbacks, credit cards, you know.”
Lawrence: “Look, Spitz, look, look. It’s got a black leather cover, a name printed in gold?”
Spitz: “Forget the book!”
Lawrence: “C A R M A N. Carman. What a smooth car on this manual. I wonder if?”
Spitz: “Chill, someone’s coming. Let’s grab some tapes and cruise!”
Lawrence: “Look Spitz, the book’s got some red letters, some black letters, some stories, man?”
Carman: “Hey, furball! What are you doing in my car?”
Lawrence: “Look at this. Wait a minute, you ain’t Spitz. Where’s Spitz?”
Carman: “Your friend jetted.”
Lawrence: “He took off.”
Carman: You should take a picture of this. I mean I never seen a car broken into by two actual cat burglars.”
Lawrence: Uh, I gotta jet man.”
Carman: Hey, wait up! That’s a nice book you got there.”
Lawrence: “Yeah?leather cover?gold letter?”
Carman: “Might be worth something. You’re gonna lift it. Aren’t ya?”
Lawrence: “Yeah?I mean, no?I mean?it’s not mine.”
Carman: “Well, it is now.”
Lawrence: “Huh?!?”
Carman: I’m letting you have it.”
Lawrence: “Straight up??uh, wait, are you this Car-man?”
Carman: “Car-man?Yeah, that’s it.”
Lawrence: “Uh, so this is your car?”
Carman: “That’s right, Garfield!”
Lawrence: “And this is your glovebox?”
Carman: “Yep, you’re very brilliant”
Lawrence: “This is your car manual?”
Carman: “Yeeeaah”
Lawrence: “Hey, listen man I’m outta here. I gotta get something to eat.”
Carman: “Yo, chill man. Like you need the book more than me.”
Lawrence: “Man, you messin’ with me?”
Carman: “No, really it’s yours. I got another Bible at home.”
Lawrence: “Bible?!? This a Bible? Man, I heard of this.”
Carman: “Yeah?”
Lawrence: “Yeah man, I dig the part about the home boy in a cage of lions knocking off a giant whale with a slingshot. Man, that’s on.”
Carman: “Well, that’s not exactly it. Here, let me tell you what the book says.”
Leave a Reply